How to Meditate Without MeditatingContemplations, Essays by Maurice Walsh
Meditation, we are told, should be easy. And so it is, for some people — in fact for most people once they have really got into the habit. But let's face it, quite a lot of people don't find it easy in the beginning. I know — I didn't, and sometimes I still don't! In fact, if I may be considered an expert on any aspect of Buddhism, it is on the elementary hindrances. I've met them all: Sensuality, Ill-Will, Sloth-and-Torpor, Worry-and-Flurry, and Doubt. There's not much I couldn't tell you about the arising of all of these!
The fourth and fifth often go together and arise because one or other of the first three has come up and won't go away. I get worried, in fact, because I feel sensual or angry or sleepy, and then I doubt, if not the Dhamma itself, at least my ability to progress. This is a common syndrome. So, what can we do about it? One answer is not to worry about worrying. If you're worried, note the fact that you're worried — or rather, that a state of worry is present. Look into it with at least a little bit of detachment. Then the situation is this, that with a part of your mind you are watching the rest of your mind worrying. You can break this situation down still further, into more impersonal terms, at a slightly later stage, but that will do for a start. If you can do this at all, then in fact you are meditating! Apply this principle generally, to whatever arises in the mind. You can do it while sitting in 'official' meditation, and you can do it equally well at many other times during the day.
This brings us to the question of 'What is Mindfulness?' The simplest answer is — just noticing. Notice as much it» possible, and as often as possible, what this funny collection of psycho-physical bits-and-pieces called you is actually up to right now! Just get the habit of doing that, and it will carry you very far. You'll be surprised how far.... Mostly we just dream along, and react with pretty automatic emotional responses to whatever happens. It's not necessarily easy to stop doing this, but it's not too difficult to start noticing that that is what 'you' are doing.
It is often - and rightly - said: 'Don't look for results'. You probably will, though, and if you do, just notice that you are now looking for results! But one of the various reasons for the advice is that in fact you may be the last person to be aware of the results when they do come. Many years ago I started trying to meditate, following the instructions in a little book. I did this conscientiously for several weeks, and then I began to get fed up. Nothing seemed to have 'happened'. I didn't seem to be getting anywhere. I was on the point of giving the whole thing up, when two people who might be presumed to know me fairly well -one was my mother and the other was my wife! - both said, apparently independently, that I seemed to be a bit easier to get on with: I didn't fly off the handle quite so much. So — something must have happened, but I was quite unaware of it....
So just practise noticing. Some people, especially those Jung calls the extrovert sensorial type, are very good at noticing things outside of themselves. They observe closely other people's actions, behaviour, dress and so on — and generally comment at length on the subject, given half a chance. Their comments are usually somewhat critical. If they observe something unfavourable, they usually say so in no uncertain terms; if what they see is favourable, they probably make remarks indicative of envy or jealousy. If you must observe others like this, try to be objective about it ('O.K., he bites his fingernails, so what!'). If you find it hard to observe them without dislike, observe the arising of dislike in your own mind.
If you observe other people in this way, always at least observe your own reactions as well. Maybe that person really is rather dislikeable - but that's not the point. The point is your
reaction. Don't try too hard to love every unwashed hippy you meet — it might be too much of a strain. Again, let's face it, we are often attracted to people. Don't be too holy and pretend (at least to yourself) that you are never sexually attracted by some person you meet, even though you may not have the slightest intention of doing anything about it. But if such thoughts and feelings do arise, notice them. These days, there is often plenty to notice out there! So just notice the fact that you are noticing with interest — positive or negative, it doesn't matter.
We often hear people speaking about 'Buddhism in Daily Life'. This is the most essential part of it. Whatever you see, hear, smell, taste, touch or think — notice what arises in your mind (and body) as a result. Don't be discouraged - just notice. And if you still feel discouraged just notice that feeling too! This really is an easy practice. Let's go a bit further. A good rule is: Don't make excuses to yourself. O.K., so I don't want to meditate (or do the washing-up, or get up in the morning, or what-have-you). Notice the 'I don't want to' or, better, the 'not-wanting-to'. Maybe you still won't do the thing but you've noticed the fact. Maybe you still make excuses to yourself-notice that fact! And it is a fact that if you do this for a while, certain personality-changes, for the better, will occur in you. You may, however, not realise this, though others probably will, whether they tell you or not. And if you find yourself hoping that somebody will tell you how much nicer you have become lately, well — just notice that thought arising too.... Really, it becomes quite an amusing game in the end!
There arc lots of games you can play. Some people, when offered a drink or something, say, 'I don't mind if I do'. Why not try the 'I don't mind if I don't' game? Suppose you arc offered a drink. Being aware of the fifth precept, you feel that to be a 'good Buddhist' you should refuse. So, what do you in fact do? I am assuming that you are the sort of person who, .it any rate before 'becoming a Buddhist', was not totally averse to a little alcoholic refreshment occasionally. There ate many such people, after all. Well, of course, you can be heroic and refuse anyway, even though you would have rather liked it. That, of course, is fine. Or you could let your Buddhism go hang for a bit (gone for a Burton, in fact!), and take It. I'm not recommending this course, I'm just saying it might happen. You might even utter the ritual words, I don't mind if I do', which is one of those 'typically British' examples of understatement we take a national pride in. You could, however, swiftly interrogate yourself mentally and say to yourself: 'Do I mind if I don't?' It is quite possible that you will find yon i an alter all hear the thought of not having that drink, and no you refuse. If you find you do want it rather badly, well of course It's up to you. But human nature being what it is, the odds arc that In that case you will accept. If so, be aware of what Is happening. This, of course, may spoil the pleasure a bit, and next time you may really not feel quite so keen on that drink, But anyway you will have learnt something. And if you can, even occasionally, say to some preferred pleasure, 'I don't mind II I don't', and mean it, then you are getting on a hit, We all have plenty of craving (tanha) — otherwise we wouldn't even he here. So it is quite a good game to see just what pleasures we do find easily resistible. After all, it ought not to be difficult to say no to something you don't want very much. So use this method to cultivate a little sales-resistance. In this commercialised world It's very necessary....
Probably you can think up a few other, similar games for yourself. They all help to make the basic practice of noticing more fun. You might as well enjoy your practice while you're about it — always providing, of course, that you notice that you're enjoying it.
How to Meditate Without Meditating
Contemplations, Essays by Maurice Walsh
